Creating a Culture of Consent

To say that life during COVID-19-19 has been difficult would be a gross understatement. There continues to be a staggering amount of loss—of life, financial stability, community, and of our ability to predict our futures. Activities we used to take for granted can no longer be assumed and the ways we interact with others have been greatly impacted. Where we work, how we go about daily routines, and whether our children will be able to attend in-person school are a few examples of activities we have needed to reevaluate. Not only have we had to determine if we should be participating in certain activities, but we have also had to be deliberate as we decide how to go about taking part. Merely leaving the house is more involved than ever. Pre-COVID-19, I took my purse and keys when I stepped into my car. Now, I make sure to take my purse, keys, face mask and hand sanitizer. Every step of my day is more complicated.

Less obvious, though, is the change we have had to make in how we speak with one another and the questions we need ask each other before we gather. Our in-person interactions must now include a level of consent previously not required.  Creating a culture of consent and obtaining permission to be close to another are not only for intimate relationships; they are necessary during this time to ensure people feel comfortable being with one another. With each of us having our own comfort level with social distancing protocols, we can no longer assume that what makes us comfortable is what will make another secure. How close will we stand, and whether we will wear masks are simply two of the many questions we need ask the other and we cannot presume we know the answer.  We must articulate our intentions and make sure the people with whom we are interacting agree to the same level of precaution we propose. Simply because we feel safe being in certain situations does not guarantee all people feel the same way. We now need to proactively ask those with whom we interact how they feel and what makes them feel safe.

Just as we have needed to be deliberate with our daily activities, so too must we demonstrate that same level of intentionality in our relationships. Interacting during COVID-19 has forced us to create a culture of consent and respect. Maybe this is the blessing among all the challenges because if continued, these habits will strengthen our personal and professional relationships even after the COVID-19 crisis is over. Although the questions we ask each other may change post-COVID-19, it remains just as vital that we continue to ground our relationships in a culture of consent and respect.